YES, there IS an international women's day and as I reflect on this reality, because of a not long enough and most bizarre experience - at the end of my am meditation I caught myself thinking, and decided to write about it…instead of adding to the normative blast of really cute and frilly posters on social media.
Okay, I am mostly wondering whether the “International Women’s Day” concept.. movement actually encourages, motivates or inspires all women to truly lean in, to uplift and to give each other their support? I’m always hopeful that it does, but I am guessing “while well intention” that it does not motivate all.
I am deafeningly curious especially because the concept - usually triggers me to praying.. followed by feelings of mercy.. Then thank goodness, always followed by an enormous feeling of gratitude for those really great super women in my life, whom I hold very very dear.
I usual pray about the little shady things women do to each other day after day …which often keeps them back, derailed and lagging behind their male counterparts within 1 too many scenarios/exchanges.
I’m sure you know some of what I speak of here, but how about some examples:
- the little jabs, the ignoring of their friend’s Ps - “pleasures, posts ..process” :o) … the petty and unkind dousing of each other's steam, ..the steam rolling, the jealousy, the envy, the shade, the side eye, the pretending to help while behind the scenes holding a sour, bitter, grudge-filled tone, a less than helpful heart and the pretty clear "bad-vibe" attitude.
- the sort of woman who once questioned, triggered or caught off guard - blurts out some awfully telling and quite negative hidden thoughts - one such example “hey I'm not responsible for another person’s acts” - displaying a complete detachment from any thought/act in which they could be seen and reflected as giving a real show of support - as they willfully turn a blind eye [while having pertinent information I might add] in a number of countless situations…where they could have easily and effortlessly helped OR helped to inform/contain.
Ahh but instead - this sort of woman presents a sour, negative attitude which shows them up similar to the face of a Judas-in-the-midst. And as soon as they’re questioned or called out on their thought spill and on their act - they quickly claim clueless - turning things around 360deg, being insulted and pissed at you for braving to look at and address their process and oh yes, “how dare you look to question them”… Ha ha ha do you know of anyone like this? I bet you do… sadly, we all do.
Women who whether by pure organic detachment/laziness, lack of good intention or vision - and may I say they do this quite proudly - simply avoid being helpful ..all while playing/pretending to be a friend, when in evidence [if one cares to look closely] they can be caught actually refusing to contribute.
- - - And with the sort of pride that would ordinarily render any normal thinking “progressive” person with some intense shame.
Women who are unable to view other women's success, challenges or stride "at anything” - in a communal context or as neighboring to their own.
I mean really, when one woman wins we all win... and one woman winning gains more power in strides to be able to then lift up another ...others.
Or okay how about example #2:
how about the women who is offered some value in your eyes, immediately pretending they're in your court ... only to give sudden snarl and growl the minute any of your updates has to do with your joy moment or to do with (not theirs) but your own process and your own stride..?
- this type of woman then being shocked and actually having the gall to display that shock, that you would naturally eventually mute their updates after they have shown you their hide (ha ha ha yes hide - as in animal skin treated for human use).
Now exactly why would anyone who gives you messaging of some assignment of lesser value in their world/time actually demand from you more and constant value? “that’s rhetorical” - obviously that is a case of either a mental health issue or of insanity.
Anyhow you peacefully & lovingly walk away from them and their world - very slowly, head hung heavy with grief at the loss of what you believed was a friend, …surely disappointed, but still with full acceptance and still very grateful for them and quite important - grateful for the reveal - A reveal which gave you insight and gave you perhaps the greatest secret on earth about them - that they are easily triggered to states of jealousy, that they are not as generous of spirit as they attempt to portrait publicly, that they are disingenuous and that they can be inconsistent, unstable and also quite petty.
Ha ha ha a shocking reveal sure and you slowly walk away then eventually - of course - you mute their world where necessary, until one additional encounter reveals more of the same and then eventually you RUN!
In the way that one slowly pulls a hand back out of a lions mouth ... v-e-r-y slowly and once it reaches the finger tips.. then a quick dash... yep just like that :).
These are just 2 examples of the many types of women who are out there - even during International women's day they are still present and real - and I am perhaps making an unusual move - which goes against the grain - to speak of it.. instead of writing or re-posting a cute, fluffy, frilly poster of women's day. - but I figure why not also have some meaningful fun and write a little of the unspoken stuff [stuff as in rubbish] ..that often gets in the way --- which stunts growth, true progress and advancement - especially in the ever popular comparison to males - in our global gender race.
And sure perhaps I am likely to risk being thrown ass up out of “the women's club” .. but I’ll take the risk, for I feel it’s important to always keep an eye [or 2] :o) toward progress, and we cannot fully + honestly do that, whenever we close one eye [or 2 ] to any element of regress. BUT we can work on this, oh YES we can!
So I usually pray in the midst of the beautiful celebrating that women stand (not in fake) but in their true + deserving power and that they lean in. Be value, always See value and always Add value - - - together we can do this, We are worthy!
I pray that women lose the shade, the side eye, the public acts while doing the behind-the-scenes hands-off-ish dagger in the backs. That they lose the petty behaviors, that women truly support all others - in ways that are unquestionably clear. That women connect with the word “ally” and implement thoughts, attitudes and behaviors which resembles such.
Many women [many not all] …are busy speaking as if they are always unfairly falling behind men in the great marathon of life… but very little is spoken of the way women actually (consciously and unconsciously) seek to derail and reduce each other … sometimes they fail in doing so and thank goodness for that.
- YES there is a whole lot to be said of gender inequality - in perhaps another piece of writing for another day. For today I am specifically focusing this bit of writing on "Women" ... since it is after-all -Women’s day- so let's go in. All the way in.
I will continue to pray and even while I do, I will also continue to lead by example, as I do daily by consistently showing up with a helpful attitude, giving support in any way that I can, giving love, encouragement and every measure of it that clearly says “Hello other woman, I am proud of you, I fully support you and I am in your court”.
I will continue to acknowledge the women in my life who are also true leaders at this, who are loving, kind, intensely intentional, purpose driven and extensively special. Women I have come to know, cherish, admire and adore …who make me in each and every day smile with pride to know them and great pride to be able to call them mother, family, student, true friend or ally.
These women surround me with a love and support that warms and cushions my soul on any tough [or easy] day - I am inspired and uplifted by them and I am encouraged to know by any glance at their behaviors, that I am not alone …and that powerful, sincere women like myself do exist, shining with a quiet grace amidst any of the occasional [spirit-fleeting], disingenuous sour grains.
On women’s day [and everyday] I am truly thankful for these types of secured, powerful, magical women, and at the end of my meditation, at the end of my prayers - I end on sweet notes of gratitude for those kind, sincere, graceful women in my life… Grace is internal and no degree of coaching can ever create it.
It takes a true, stable and constant inner power to give, to give consistently AND to give with a whole heart.
The special women in my life that I speak of know who they are - and I know I thank you pretty often but here again from the bottom of my warm and loving heart - I thank you!!!
May we all continue to find AND KEEP our inner power and maintain the capacity, grace, kindness and strength to always extend wherever we can - while practicing mindfulness and non-harming behaviors [toward self & others].
May we always with sincerity and with a huge heart - not retract but with kind thoughts, good vibes and great intent - may we always lean in!
Happy International Women's (day) ...decade.
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